The following is a shortened account of the many aspects of my back story. There are more in betweens that were just as impactful in my life but in an effort to keep this as short as possible, I am keeping it as concise as possible.
I grew up in a large family, but my circumstances were a little different than most. I was given up for adoption at just 3 months old. Lucky for me my paternal Grandparents took me in to raise me as their own and legally adopted me. So I was able to stay within the family. However, it wasn't without my fair share of trauma, but more on that later.
I grew up loved and supported but feeling out of place. At 12yo, I found out I was adopted and the feeling I always had of not fitting in started to make some sense to me. That feeling of "out of place" carried over into my school and social life, as a teen and on through my adult years. Even though I knew and met many people, I felt I didn't quite fit in to any one "group". Although I made my attempts to fit in, I energetically couldn't handle being around too many people or crowded places for too long and found myself retreating for alone time... As contradictory as it was, and as much as it confused me, I was somewhat of a loner, but also craved the social connection. It wasn't until later in life when things changed for me... I stopped trying to fit in, and I started to find myself. That aside, I went through most of my life in a dark place even though I had a supportive parental unit. There was still family toxicity, dysfuntion and ancestral traumas broadcasting at me and through me all the while.
I grew up in a lower-middle class area. We always had a place to call home (thank God) but food and money was on a day-to-day basis. Back then we always lived on a fight or flight basis within our home and in our neighborhood environment. Our financial well being was a hit or miss...we lived on a very limited budget, food would be the first to run out and we would have to wait for that next paycheck to eat our next meal. We had to always be on alert of our surroundings when we were out and about our neighborhood going about our day. We'd had to watch out for gang shoot-outs, sexual predators and just predators in general. The world was like living in the jungle. Although I had to always be on high-alert, anticpating who will do what or what's about to go down, unfortunately I also had to deal with a threat that was very close to me early on. I was sexually abused by a trusted family member from the age of 6-8 years old.
Moving forward as an empath, I became imbalanced emotionally and energetically. I couldn't understand why people suffered and why there was so much cruelty and violence in the world. I didn't understand why people would want to bring kids into this world with it being the way it was. I would feel the energies shift with just looking at a home, let alone upon entering it. I knew what people needed without being said. I anticipated people's motives and moves. I knew the character of a person with just a glance. I grew into my teen years angry, deep seated rage, depressed, aggressive, with a border-line eating disorder and suicidal ideations...and stood that way well into my late 30s. All in all however, I have always felt this pull to help others. Since I was a little girl, I had always been painfully aware that there was more to my life, to our lives, than what met the eye. Although the professions I worked & sought out as an adult were of service to others in one way, shape, or form...it seemed to only be enough for me for a time. Until I started to question myself again about what my life's purpose was. I couldn't quite find that one job or career I was passionate about. I had an infinite passion for helping people on a soul level, quantum physics and the metaphysical since I was a child. I grew up in a household that not only had knowledge of the metaphysical, spirituality and experienced supernatural/paranormal phenomenon dialy. The women of my famiily had developed psychic mediumistic abilities. However, this all wasn't spoken about. If it was spoken about it would be in a hushed manner. When I would ask questios to try to understand what was happening, it was taboo. So, I had to grow up figuering out and finding a lot of things out for myself. I had many experiences with Spirits and supernatural happenings my ENTIRE life, but I just took it for what it was and I didn't think anything of it. As I got older, my hunger to learn the metaphysical and seek out answers towards what I had been experiencing grew. I read all the articles and books when I could find it and I asked all the questions I could to whomever I found that had this knowledge. But those moments would ebb and flow. Years had passed. I got older and got married. I soon found out that I was married to a man who wasn't so accepting or supportive of my passion. It was an unbalanced relationship. One of one-sided compromise and the other side needing control over everything and everyone. And so, like many women, I scarified what I wanted and so I placed my passion on the shelf. I fell into line and followed the herd by plugging into the typical life of working the typical 8+ hour day, serving as a wife and a mother focused on raising our children and caring for our home. All the while having zero time to myself, slowly dieing inside. If you were to look at some of the pictures of me from those times, you could definitely see I looked depleted and lacking in the vibrancy one should have. It wasn't until one day about a year after my second child was born, my passion was reignited by one of my many Spiritual experiences. This time I felt different...I felt as if the clock was ticking and time was running out for me to do something. I felt like I needed to up my game and go on fast forward so I won't miss my ride to wherever it was I was supposed to go. The only thing was I had no clue why I felt this way or what it was I was supposed to do. There was a definite urgency to getting it together. I knew it involved helping people but not sure how... but I knew in my bones it had to do with helping people on a bigger scale. It wasn't until during this time in my life, as I continued my self-motivated metaphysical studies and devoured every piece of information I could get to, that I figured out I was always "open" to spirit and the reason I had the experiences I had was because I had these abilities. The abilities I dismissed and thought nothing of growing up. ....what I would feel, hear, see and know were things most people were not open to (even though it is possible for everyone to be). I had the epiphany that I had these abilities all this time and didn't even realize that's what they were. The on switch flipped on and I was back online...I knew, was aware, saw, heard and felt things more powerfully. The series of events that happened after the birth of my second child urged me to take my spiritual evolution more seriously... it lead me to actively start on my spiritual journey and psychic development. Things started changing for me at that point. People who weren't supportive faded away and my life went into a series of major life changing events. And the more I found out about myself, the more my abilities flourished and the more frustrated I became. I've jokingly (and sometimes in frustration) termed my abilities as "jack of all trades, master of none" as I was focused on everything, not just one thing. However, as time went on I came to understand that there was a reason why it happened the way it did. There was a definite method to this madness. I do have to say one thing for sure that was prominent and consistent throughout my life (and gave me a powerful punch) was my empathic ability. It was at this point where it all made sense to me. I finally was able to connect some of the dots. Things started happening quickly. I had a strong attraction to spirit communication and healing work. I found myself enrolling in Dr. Kelli's Angel Intuitive Practitioner course then worked my way through the Reiki class levels and became a Reiki Master through The Healing Triad. I had no idea what to do with this training once I had completed it. I was scared to step outside of my box. My husband at the time wasn't supportive of this which made things very difficult. I couldn't see how I could help others with what I've learned. Even though deep down I knew I was headed in the right direction, I felt stuck and felt I couldn't move forward. I continued to not do anything else with it. Fast forward a couple of years... I decided it was time to do some healing work for myself. Taking this time to work on myself was that thing that gave me that push in my Spiritual journey. Coincidentally I found a Soul Realignment Practitioner at that time. I always had this fascination with the Akashic Records. So I decided to schedule a Soul Realignment Session which is an Akashic Record reading and clearing session. It opened my eyes, helped me rid of stuck patterns that I found myself repeating time and time again, but most importantly opened those doors I needed opened to finally find the answers to my questions and my life purpose. This propelled me into another phase of growth and healing. Things fell into place once again and more dots connected. I have found so many parallels with what my ideas were when it all began, the detours I took in relation to where I am presently. I have figured out that all the arrows pointed me in this direction no matter which path I took. I know now that serving others in this spiritual way was the plan all along. I've come full circle and am at a point where I am not fighting it anymore. I went with the flow. I have done alot of the inner work, found & used the tools/tips/techniques that helped me heal. I addressed everything: my mental, emotional and physical body because it all need to be addressed for the healing to stick and a balance to be achived. That's not to say those aspects won't peak out every now and again but I understand what it's about and can mitigate quickly.
Through this process I accepted myself for what I am and have since sought out a mentor to help me hone and strengthen my abilities to help Spirit and help others. I have undergone and am still undergoing extensive training in Evidential Psychic Mediumship and commpleted my apprenticeship for my Shamanic path. The very two things I wanted to do from the very beginning of this journey but didn't want to believe was for me. I had to get over that belief for healing and acceptance to happen. I'm still healing and still transforming. I still get nervous of the new steps my Spirit tribe encouragingly guide me to take. I still push through it and I'm always I glad I do in the end. And so here I am...This journey has definitely made me do my own shadow work. The stuff I thought I didn't need to heal from or was hidden but very pervasive in the background...which was still affecting me even now. I've peeled back layers, upon layers, upon layers of embedded imbalances & trauma.
I know have a clear realization of what I'm here to do. I have figured out what I had known all along but didn't realize. It was to help others on their spiritual journey...to help others find their answers as I found mine, to help guide them in their own healing journey, in their Divine and Personal Truths, to provide spiritual guidance, be a channel of Divine Source healing energy, to help people like you to find and connect those dots. I've learned that the trauma we experience in past lives also affects us in this one. This is why I do what I do.
...and this is my story in a nutshell without giving the sordid details. There ae so many aspects to what I've expereinced in my life that had to be brought out, acknowledged and healed. And I'm not gonna lie, I still find there are parts or bits and pieces that still need to be revisisted and managed but I'm better equiped to handle it now.
With all that said, taking what I have learned and experienced, my goal is to be the best I can be to help you. I will be that LightHouse in the dark for when you need it the most. To be a clear and perfect channel for Divine Source so that you can receive what you need to receive so as to help you finally be rid of those self sabotaging, past life and ancestral patterns you find yourself repeating...so that you can move forward in your soul's evolution and integrate that here in this life.
I want to help you move forward in leaps and bounds in your personal & spiritual journey.
What does that look like? It will be unique to you. That may mean receiving a soul reading, a psychic reading, connect to/hear from a Departed Loved One or your Spirit Guide(s) in a Mediumship reading,
or learn how to heal with the Angels...
or through energy medicine with a Reiki or Shamanic healing session...
or perhaps understand yourself & heal on a deeper level with an Akashic Soul Realignement session as I did when I first started down this rabbit hole.
It can a combination of these services or just some of it.
My mission is to help provide you with exactly what you need at this present time that is in alignment with YOUR needs, your Path and your Purpose in this lifetime so that you can begin or continue to grow and heal 😊💕
Sending so Much Love and Blessings to you my friend.
XOXO,
Maria
Comments